chinwag ... Today I have had enough of myself.

Posted on January 19, 2015 by Elaine Stack | 0 Comments

Thats right. Enough. 
Yes it is school holidays and you would think that I would have enough of my children but no.  I have had enough of myself and my crankiness. 
So I am going back to basics, re-capping on some techniques that worked prior and pulling my feckin head in. 
I can openly admit that I am a tad cranky.  I can also say that my beautiful baby boy is sleeping through the night so I cannot blame him for my tiredness or crankiness.  

I find that if I get cranky, then unfortunately we all go down like a tonne of bricks.  The kids start pushing my buttons because lets face that's their job and my hubby comes home to a mad house and joins the “cranky” team.  
So today I have updated myself on some tips I have learnt along the way and called a family meeting. 1, 2, 3 Magic is a favourite which I alter to fit our family. It speaks to me and my parenting style.  I love a good count, especially when I have a moment to breath, relax, calm and speak without a “tone”.

While out today, I spoke to a couple of other Moms who thankfully admitted that they are feeling the same right now. Too much roaring and not enough of patience.  It is a hard one to admit, don’t you think?
I purchased some wooden balls at Hobbysew and polished up a couple of vases to place them in.  
It is a basic technique and very like the reward chart that we have used with success in the past.  I just wanted to change it up.  The challenge for me is to have patience, speak calmly, give clear instructions when required and prepare myself early to leave the house so I am not rushing and stressing myself out and the little ones.

Example.  
I ask Master 5 to put his shoes on.  I ask once.  I also ask when I have his attention rather than when he is doing something.  I find he is very busy at the moment and I need to ensure I have his attention before I ask a question.  

“James can you please put your shoes on, we are going on to the park in ten minutes”.  
James continues to play with his lego or whatever else is going on.
I start to count.
“One” (count to five in my head & wait for a reaction).  I find that once I start counting, James 99% of the time will respond.  
After five seconds in my head, “Two”.  This is only if he has not moved in the direction of the shoes.
Another five seconds in my head.
“Three”.  
I calmly remove a wooden ball from the glass bowl. I stay calm. I don’t yell. And if asked I explain why the wooden ball has been taken. I don’t go on about it.  State it as a fact.  

This is what the vases look like tonight.  
They have both received a wooden ball today for two of their daily requests.

This is what we are focussing on at the moment.
{- Getting up after 7am or after. I use a GroClock.  You can see them here.  They both know how to read it and understand when it is time to get up.
{- Chores.  Tidy their toys up when asked. Once or twice a day.
{- We encourage no arguing and no teasing.  We also encourage being kind to each other.
{- Getting ready for bed, brushing their teeth and going to bed without all the drama.
 
Today they received two wooden balls for tidying up their toys and getting up after 7am.  
When they receive 10 wooden balls, they will receive $1.  They can either save it to buy something or save it in the bank.  If they decide to save it, then Mom and Dad will double the amount they are saving.

I am hoping the vase will look like this within a couple of days. 
But it will probably look like this ……
Master 5 has worked out what he can and cannot buy with his money.  We explained to him that he will need $15 to purchase some Lego and that it would take some time to save this.  He thought about it for a minutes and said ….
"I’ll put the money in the bank with your money Mommy and then I will take it out and go to Big W” ….! 

Mmmmmmm ....
Mommy = 0, James = 1


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